Sister M’s Story

“We had businesses, stability, and plans for the future. Now I am starting again with five children and just trying to keep everything together.”

Sister M is a British Muslim mother of five. In her late 30s, she has lived across three countries, faced detention, intimidation and the collapse of the life she built with her husband. Today, she is back in the UK, raising her children alone in practice, navigating poverty and uncertainty while her husband remains abroad facing ongoing legal and political difficulties.

A Life Uprooted

Sister M grew up between East Africa and the UK. Through her mother, she was a British citizen from birth and moved to the UK as a teenager. She married in the late 2000s, and around 2010 she and her husband travelled to his home country in Asia, intending to live there temporarily as a family.

After just over a year, foreign soldiers raided their home. Both were detained and held at a military base for around a month, where they were interrogated. When they were eventually released, her husband was handed a letter informing him that his British citizenship had been revoked.

Sister M was told she would be placed on a plane back to the UK. However, on legal advice, she was warned not to travel due to the risk of detention on arrival, house arrest, or confiscation of her passport. With no safe option available, they remained for a period before deciding the country was too unstable to stay.

Trying to Rebuild in East Africa

The family relocated to an East African country where Sister M had family connections. But stability remained out of reach.

Her husband was detained repeatedly by local authorities. Both foreign and local intelligence services attempted to pressure him into cooperating with them. There were repeated incidents where he was taken, questioned, and released only after money was paid. Harassment and intimidation became part of daily life.

Determined to survive, the couple built several small businesses over the years, including restaurants and a bakery. They worked hard to become self-reliant. However, political unrest, curfews and election periods repeatedly disrupted their income.

Eventually, a land dispute over the bakery escalated dramatically. Around 60 armed men arrived, threatening the family and demanding they leave. The police did not meaningfully intervene. A court order followed, giving them no real choice but to vacate under threat of harm.

During this same period, Sister M’s father – her main source of support in that country –  passed away during the COVID pandemic. Despite her heritage and documentation, she was told she would need to reside there continuously for five years before applying for citizenship or local passports for her children. Bureaucratic delays meant this process stalled repeatedly.

With mounting threats, no secure legal status and no stable income, Sister M made the painful decision to return to the UK with her five children. Her husband remained behind, trying to salvage some form of livelihood.

Starting Again in the UK

Earlier this year, Sister M arrived back in the UK with her children. Initially, they stayed with her mother and siblings in a small flat in London. The property was already overcrowded, and one of her brothers was experiencing serious mental health difficulties. Her mother simply could not manage supporting her son while also housing five young grandchildren long-term.

For everyone’s wellbeing, Sister M moved to a more affordable area in the Midlands, where she now rents a property from a family friend.

Although the property was initially furnished, items have gradually been removed, including bedding and household essentials. Today, the family has very limited basic goods. Some of the children do not have enough clothing, and each family member has only one pair of shoes.

Living on the Edge Financially

Sister M receives Universal Credit. After the benefit cap and deductions, she receives under £1,800 per month. Rent alone takes between £1,200 and £1,600, leaving only a few hundred pounds to cover council tax, utilities, water, phone bills, food and transport for six people.

Although she does not have formal debts, the remaining income is not enough to meet basic living costs. Each month is a balancing act – deciding between heating and food, replacing worn-out clothes or paying for transport.

She receives a small monthly contribution from another charity and occasional support from extended family. While helpful, this does not close the gap between income and essential expenses.

Isolation and Daily Struggles

Sister M holds an international driving licence but cannot afford a car. The nearest shops are not within easy walking distance, especially with five children. Public transport is difficult and costly when travelling with multiple young children and shopping bags.

As a result, she often relies on taxis or ride-hailing services for essential food shopping and occasional visits to her mother in London. A significant portion of her limited disposable income goes on transport simply to maintain basic necessities and family ties.

Emotionally, the transition has been immense. She has gone from running multiple businesses with her husband to being, in practice, a single parent in a new city, navigating a complex benefits system with little local support.

She speaks of food insecurity – worrying whether supplies will last until the end of the month. She describes constantly prioritising: heat or food, clothes or bills. Bedding is worn, shoes are limited, and winter brings added anxiety.

Despite everything, she insists they are “managing” and is reluctant to complain. But she carries the ongoing emotional weight of her husband’s unresolved situation abroad and the uncertainty that surrounds it.

How HHUGS Has Helped

Since being referred to HHUGS, Sister M has received practical support that has made a meaningful difference.

This has included:

• Emergency food vouchers during periods when there was simply not enough to feed the family
• Emergency clothing for her and the children, including shoes and basic bedding
• Ongoing monthly grocery vouchers to provide stability while benefits were being finalised
• Winter support, including help with fuel costs, a safe electric heater, radiator reflectors and winter clothing

This support has allowed her to:

• Keep food consistently in the cupboards
• Ensure each child has basic, dignified clothing and footwear
• Heat the home safely during winter without choosing between warmth and meals
• Reduce constant anxiety and focus more fully on her children’s wellbeing and adjustment

For Sister M, the support has not solved every problem. But it has provided breathing space – the ability to focus on her children, to regain stability step by step, and to rebuild with dignity after years of upheaval.