Slide 1

Frail HANDS

Holding on in the twilight of life


This Ramadhan, be a light of hope in their time of darkness

www.hhugs.org.uk/Ramadhan

Text RAMD48 £10 to 70070

0207 733 2104

 

At a time in life when our elders look forward to the support and care of their children, an unexpected trial turns life upside down.

Imagine the frail hands of your parents. Once strong, these hands which have toiled hard to raise you are now a weaker version of their former self. The lines carved into weathered skin tell tales of a long life of toil, resilience and strength. 

You have now grown up. The bustle and activity of the house you were raised in is now gone. Life has set into a quieter rhythm for your parents. Your once pudgy playful hands which sought their comfort are now strong, independent, able to serve.

Yet, as your parents’ frail hands look forward to finally leaning on your own, the twilight of their lives is met with turmoil.

You have been detained by police. Now in prison, your parents face questions they cannot answer, beset with confusion, grief and anxiety. The future ahead has suddenly become darker, uncertain, lonely. Your absence sends repercussions in every direction. Harder than being in prison is the knowledge that your parents, in their years of weakness, are left behind, entirely vulnerable. You are gone, yet their frail hands remain. They are in their years of weakness, yet you are powerless to fulfill their needs. And those needs are now great.

You yearn to be there to soothe their aching hearts.

You wish to tend to them through poor health.

You would give anything to ease the practical burdens of their daily living.

You long for the chance to relieve their financial hardship.

But most of all, you fear they may not live long enough to see your return.

For some, these same frail hands may now have inherited the additional responsibility of caring for your young children. Whilst you were the pillar of support for both, the link between these two vulnerable generations, your absence means that your parents must shoulder this insurmountable task, to become the primary carers for your children, despite their senior years.  With ailing health, no longer having the energy of youth on their side, and with no financial or physical support, as they hold on in the twilight of their lives, your parents struggle to fill the void you’ve left behind.

Throughout Ramadhan and beyond, HHUGS extends an outstretched palm of solace to dozens of such frail hands, struggling in isolation. Dealing with the stigma of having an adult child imprisoned, parents often lose support networks, as anxiety about the future becomes stifling.  Aging parents left behind are just one part of a broken picture when a person is imprisoned. The void they leave behind is irreplaceable; however, there are steps we can take to offer glimmers of hope in these times of darkness.

Reach out, as we gather with our own families in this month of Mercy, to clasp these frail hands – tomorrow, it could be our mothers, our fathers, stigmatized and struggling in uncertainty and isolation. Our children, left traumatised, desperately in need of care.

This Ramadhan, join with HHUGS, to be a light of hope in their time of darkness.

"He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young, nor honour our elderly" (Tirmidhi).

Feed a family struggling to get by

£50 Food Pack
£250 food vouchers for the month

 
“They took all the money I had saved, not even leaving behind enough to buy bread.At the time, we were left with nothing. I didn’t have any family to fall back on.”

Essential supplies to start families off in this month of meat, poultry, pasta, rice, fruit and tinned goods for the most-needy families.

Unite a family torn apart

£200 for a month
£50 for Eid visit


Help unite elderly parents, young children and aggrieved wives with their absent son, father and husband in this month traditionally spent with our families. Prisons in remote locations, financial constraints, long travelling times, often mean these visits are rare. With your donations, you provide fuel/transport for a month's worth of prison visits.

“As elderly parents, we are grateful to HHUGS for their help. Their volunteers come and collect us in the morning, take us 100 miles to the prison, driving us 3 hours to see my son. We embrace my son and he kisses us on our foreheads. Sometimes he says, ‘there’s not much I can do for you except giving you a glass of water with my own hands’. The most painful sight is watching my son waving us goodbye as the visit is over.” 

Heal a family scarred by detention

£200 for a month of therapy
£50 per session

 “I can’t even put it into words about what it has done to me – I suffer from depression; emotionally and psychologically I’m not doing well. I live with it, these constant reminders in the house. I can’t sleep properly and sometimes I don’t eat. It’s like I have lost the will to live.

Professional, culturally sensitive counselling for women and children traumatised by raids and arrests, or by the separation from their children, and former detainees trying to resettle into family life post release.

“Without HHUGS I would be so lost.  The support, comfort the encouragement from you has been amazing. I never thought I would be able to pick myself back up again.  You have made a big difference to my life and to the lives of others.  I’ve seen it with the HHUGS families based in my city. The counselling sessions have made me feel as though I am not alone.”

£250 – Restore Hope for a Child

For the children of prisoners, it is not simply poverty alone which holds them back. Already traumatised by raids and grappling internally with grief and anger over the detention of their fathers – and increasingly so now, mothers too - children commonly face bullying in the playground, leaving them demotivated to learn or attend school, making their academic prospects and future bleak. Such children are already three times more at risk than their peers of committing anti-social or delinquent behaviour and more than twice as likely to experience mental health issues. The emotional and physical reaction to the loss of a parent to prison has been likened to bereavement, so it’s unsurprising to learn it leads to higher levels of truancy, poor academic achievement, and behavioural problems in school. Tragically, 65% of boys with a convicted parent go on to offend. By sponsoring a child, you can dramatically improve their prospects and transform their future from one that seems bleak and hopeless, to restoring hope and confidence.

“When my husband was first arrested, everybody at my children’s school found out and the bullying began immediately. They were treated like sudden outcasts and feared going to school. Their grades were affected, they became withdrawn and hopeless. Their father was taken away during their exam time- yet with our laptop, even coursework and practice papers confiscated by the police, the children had little resources to even revise from... With the support of HHUGS, the children slowly grew more confident. Their grades began to return to a high standard. It has given them a whole new lease of life. It can be completely devastating otherwise.”

£500 - Shelter a Family left in disarray

 “When I entered my home, the front door was smashed. The house was upside down - we couldn’t recognise anything. I didn’t know how to sleep or rest.


From providing a roof over their head, replacing a door broken in a raid to protect them from the elements or basic essentials of heating, electricity, water and gas.

I couldn’t apply for any benefits because I wasn’t a UK national, I didn’t have anything for rent or food. It wasn’t legal for me to work. Eventually, the council gave us a house but they wanted me to pay for the rent, the bills but I had no income. I was very depressed. HHUGS were paying for my bills and my rent. I think if HHUGS were not there I wouldn’t be alive right now.”
 

£500 Empower Our Mothers – The Gift of Independence

Help struggling mothers develop independence through driving lessons, English lessons, educational and vocational courses to help them into employment.

“This new course which HHUGS have paid for will mean I’m working on a self-employed basis, I can do more hours, meaning more money with which I can pay off my debts and just live a reasonable life without having to ask people…that’s the hardest thing about this situation. It’s good for my children to see that their Mum is going to work and providing for the family. I don’t want them to grow up with the mentality that you can sit at home and everything will come to you.”

Give the Gift of Happiness

£10 Eid presents for a child
£50 for a family


“The children grow up without a father figure, not having what their friends have, not being able to ask their parents for Eid gifts, feeling deprived and inadequate compared to their friends.”

Just as we put together lists of presents for our friends and families, show that little bit of love for the HHUGS’ children this Eid. We all love a thoughtful present and the joy it will bring for the children who get by on so little is a beautiful investment to make.

“Wallahi, it really does make such a difference knowing that we haven’t been forgotten about by everyone. May Allah reward the whole of HHUGS with the best of both worlds, ameen. Honestly, when you are on your own knowing you have someone you can turn to and who is looking out for you is priceless. I can’t describe it.”

£350 Share the Joy: Celebrate Together 


Fill the voice by ensuring elderly parents and young children of prisoners celebrate Eid with the community. Unite isolated and often ostracized families who would otherwise have no plans for the day.

HHUGS Eid parties play a crucial part in uniting people who spend Eid alone and without anybody to celebrate with. Your donation will cover the cost of venue hire, catering and activities for children ranging from face-painters, bouncy castles and entertainers for the day. 

“The children felt special after receiving Eid gifts from HHUGS and attending their Eid parties. We finally started to feel more normal, like there were some people who weren’t afraid to associate with us. HHUGS saw us as human beings, not as criminals. They treated us as part of the Ummah.”

DONATE

www.hhugs.org.uk/Ramadhan

Call 0207 733 2104

Text RAMD48 £10 to 70070

Bank transfer:
HHUGS
Al Rayan Bank
Sort Code: 30-00-83
Account number: 01269701

Cheques/postal orders
Payable to “HHUGS” and posted to:  HHUGS, Office 36, 88-90 Hatton Garden, London, EC1N 8PN